I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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