sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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