What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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