I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
