Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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