i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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