he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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