I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
