9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
