i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
