id be glad to
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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