All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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