Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
