I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
