haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
