wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
