In the future we'll all be gay
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
