i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
