Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
