Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
