Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
