"it" just moved
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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