Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
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My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind