I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?