keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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