idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I will be naked everywhere
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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