Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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