operation harelip BJ is a go
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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