You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize