Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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