omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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