I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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