I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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