your room smells of hookers.
And success
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
