There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
