Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
