I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
