I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
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I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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