You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
