Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
