I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
