was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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