dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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