True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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