She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
