Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
