if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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