Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
