Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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