it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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