You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
