Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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