he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just found a bag of teeth...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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