dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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