4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
