I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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