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I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
