this beer tastes like vomit already
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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