"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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