dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Even my vagina gasped.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
